Game Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII
Release August 15th, 2006
Genre Third Person Shooter / Action RPG
Publisher Square Enix
Developer Square Enix
Time Played 12:21:02
Buy It On Ebay | Amazon

Final Fantasy VII, is my second favorite Playstation game. Vincent Valentine is my favorite Final Fantasy character. He’s a fucking vampire that can turn into Satan. You don’t fuck with Vincent Valentine. Is this game a cash grab? Kinda. Is it short? Yeah. Is it fun? Yes. Does it evolve the story? Not really. Do I care if you think it sucks? F.O.A.D.  Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII PS2POCALYPSE, you should play it before you cast opinion. Oh yeah, the headline is a reference to the album Funeral Dirge for the Rotting Sun.

Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII Review – Ambition, Gunfire, and Missed Potential – The Negative Press – This is the link to what the AI thinks about this game, now we can jump into what I think about this game.

Now, there is difference between the word sucks and not the best. Of the 3 spin offs of Final Fantasy VII (Dirge, Crisis Core, Advent Children) This is the weakest… but its still good. Its not amazing, but, hey, I think everyone should of got a spin off game. Don’t you want to play I’m Dead: The Aeris Story and Slum Stripper Double Tipper Tifa Boot Knock Slobber Cock?

 

Dirge of Cerberus Story

3 years after the events of Final Fantasy VII, Vincent is out there capping people, basically being Blade. Struggling to find his usefulness, Vincent is coping with the fact he is an immortal vampire with no purpose. He finds purpose by talking shit with Yuffie and trying to save some little kid. Yeah the story doesn’t really matter, in fact, who cares.

Dirge of Cerberus Story 6/10

Dirge of Cerberus Gameplay

Dude, you remember that thought that crosses your mind as a kid playing Final Fantasy VII, that thought of “man I wish I was actually controlling these characters instead of waiting to hack at this stupid bomb thing” well, that’s what this game tried to give us. It’s a very lose Action RPG but a very strong Third Person Shooter.

You are going to do Thid Person Shooter shit. Run around, complete missions, get graded on them, do secondary shit, kill shit, use your exp to upgrade Cerberus. Oh, I forgot, Cerberus is the name of Vincent’s gun.

Remember how Vincent could turn into cool shit for his limit breaks (I use Chaos to do the battle square, it’s makes shit a lot easier) He can turn into the Gallian Beast and Chaos… I was bummed when I didn’t see Hellmasker as a useable transformation. The final stage is pure Chaos, or Satan as I call it.

I’m half tarded or something and I got stuck pretty hard on two parts of this game. That makes me ding it a couple points. It’s not perfect but it’s not bad. It is enjoyable.

 

Dirge of Cerberus Gameplay 8/10

Dirge of Cerberus Difficulty

The difficulty is very fluctuating. There is no difficulty curve, its a fucking roller coaster. Some early stages should be at the end of the game. It is very inconsistent.

Dirge of Cerberus Difficulty 5/10

Dirge of Cerberus Graphics

Ugh. For this late in the system’s life span, these graphics are kinda wack. I mean Crisis Core looked better. But hey, for a rushed fan service game, its ok.

Dirge of Cerberus Graphics 6/10

Dirge of Cerberus Controls

Controls suffer from a few things. Shitty camera at times and very unsmooth sniping.

Dirge of Cerberus Controls 6/10

Dirge of Cerberus Sound

Vincent sounds like what you would expect. The soundtrack is pretty banging. Its Gackt anyway.

Dirge of Cerberus Sound 8/10

The AI gave this game a 57%, I give it

Dirge of Ceberus Overall Rating

%

Rating

Dirge of Ceberus: Final Fantasy VII Part 1

Dirge of Ceberus: Final Fantasy VII Part 2

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About the Author: DouchE_LodeR was born in the 90s and lives in Michigan. Hobbies including complaining about video games and life, Listening to a lot of niche music and enjoying classic flims like Die Hard. This guy is a huge Simpsons fan and likes to watch wrestling.

He can be found on Twitch, contacted on Discord, and you can email him at ReLodeR@thenegativepress.com

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