| Game | Dino Crisis |
| Release | August 31st, 1999 |
| Genre | Survival Horror |
| Publisher | Capcom |
| Developer | Capcom |
| Time Played | 16:12:47 |
| Buy It On | Ebay |Amazon |
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it… just add dinosaurs and totally fucking ruin it. I know a lot of people have some cult love for this game but not me. It’s just ok. I do not understand the hype that surrounds this game and as you will see and understand shortly, I take the opposite stance. This game sucks, the sequel is tight. PSXSLAYER #0005 Dino Crisis, FIGHT ME!
Dino Crisis PS1 Review – Capcom’s Most Relentless Survival Horror Experiment – The Negative Press – Here is what those fat cat video game websites feel about this game, here is the slang banging cuss filled Douche Loder version of those words.
As a Resident Evil fan, this game is a mockery of something great and doesn’t become great itself until the sequel. Capcom loves creating inescapable frames. You know like in Resident Evil when the hunters jump and you are just fucked and your head rolls on the ground and it says YOU DIED! Well, this game loves doing that but with stupid raptors. Give some raptors Zangief’s grab frames and the Hunter’s jumping and you have nailed a big part of what is wrong with this game.
Dino Crisis Story
I really believe that Capcom made this game as a diversion tactic to get people to stop talking shit about the plot of Resident Evil. Remember how people made fun of Resident Evil and how ZOMBIES ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD plot, well, replace zombies with dinosaurs and you got Dino Crisis.
Some dude got sent to go check out this island, he goes silent. Bravo team goes in with two dudes and a chick. They find out the island is infested with Dinosaurs, in typical Capcom fashion, they barely fucking care. We revisit the extinction of the dinosaurs and start blasting em til they are extinct and who do you think the big baddie is? Mr. T-Rex. Kill it, game over.
What I find more fascinating is the sexualization of Regina. She just shows up to pull off a whole damn extinction wearing her bondage dance gear. When you beat the game, you get her battle armor… which is just lingerie. Bend over baby, I gotta put like 30 key cards and grenades up your shithole.
Dino Crisis Story 5/10
Dino Crisis Gameplay
It is just a more annoying Resident Evil. Ammo is such a rare commodity in this game. When you get better weapons you don’t even want to use them because you know some other asshole dinosaur is gonna show up. When you kill dinos they just respawn eventually, feels like Martian Gothic, that’s bad man!
What you need to be doing in this game is looking for plugs. You put the butt plugs in Regina’s ass and you get more shit. No seriously they open panels and you get valuable ammo and precious health. You can upgrade your weapons by finding parts scattered about the game.
This just just a key card, electric panel puzzle, finger print gathering search a thon with the inclusion of annoying fucking dinosaurs. I would rather be playing as Jill with a shotgun blowing some fucking zombie brains all over the fucking ceiling.
When you get pinned, you are fuuuuucked. Seriously, these dinosaurs are horny. One again, the sequel is actually fun.
Dino Crisis Gameplay 4/10
Dino Crisis Difficulty
You get fucking swarmed by dinos. Figuring shit out is hard. Not enough health. Not Enough Ammo. Good luck fucker!
Dino Crisis Difficulty 5/10
Dino Crisis Graphics
You know where you really fucked up guys? No more pre rendered drawn rooms, 3D graphics EVERYWHERE. Those cut scenes look nice though.
Dino Crisis Graphics 6/10
Dino Crisis Controls
The camera moves in ways you don’t want it to, you are obstructed a lot as well. Tank controls tank the fun. It’s just cumbersome.
Dino Crisis Controls 7/10
Dino Crisis Sound
Meh, I feel like its not mixed properly. Dialogue is very low, action is very high. Dinosaur sounds get annoying.
Dino Crisis Sound 5/10
The AI gave this game a 83%, I give it
Dino Crisis Overall Rating
%
Rating
The next PS2POCALYPSE game is #0025 25 To Life. The Next PSXSLAYER game is #0006 Dino Crisis 2. Dino Crisis was TV-666EP#PSX-0005-3/2-0025-0/OV29. Yu-Gi-Oh: Forbidden Memories was played before this, Dino Crisis to be played after this.
About the Author: Re_LodeR was born in the 90s and lives in Michigan. Hobbies including complaining about video games and life, Listening to a lot of niche music and enjoying classic flims like Die Hard. This guy is a huge Simpsons fan and likes to watch wrestling.
He can be found on Twitch, contacted on Discord, and you can email him at ReLodeR@thenegativepress.com